I wrote a lot today, over 5,000 words, but I don’t expect I will be able to keep up the pace, in fact, I’m writing so much largely because I know I won’t have much time this week. Tomorrow I have dinner with my grandfather and his wife, the next day I have my ice skating practice – first my normal lesson then practice for the Nutcracker, two hours in total – Thursday I have a doctor appointment, and Friday is my friend’s birthday.
Picking today’s excerpt was hard, very hard. I love the entire party scene, but I settled on sharing the snippet of the dolls for a but of feed back on the description of them. For those who have read the book by E.T.A. Hoffman, you’ll know that in the original tale there is a small clock work city given to the children, but for this telling, I’ve gone (with reasons that will be explained later) with two large dolls more like what you would see in a rendition of the play.
So let me know what you think of my writing (remember, its a rough draft) and tell me how you’re doing. Oh, and what do you think of my blunder earlier?
I just wrote butcracker instead of nutcracker. I need to sleep. #NaNoWriMo
— Camryn (@CamrynDaytona) November 3, 2015
Have You Backed Up Your Novel Today?
Godfather Drosselmeyer smiled and replied, “Just wait and see.”
As though that sentence were a command the door sprung open, and two strange men marched into the room. They were dressed in finery, lace and ruffles with shining buttons, and for hair they had towering white wigs, powered and crimped in the latest European fashion. Instead of faces, they had full face masks painted with patterns of twirling ribbon and flowers, with not even their eyes showing through. Strangest though was the sound they made, a whirling noise as they stood, and when they moved, a loud clicking.
“They’re not alive!” Clara gasped.
“Quite right,” her godfather agreed. “They’re clock work, you see. Completely clockwork men of my own design.” Of course they would be of Drosselmeyer’s design, no one else would even attempt such a creation, indeed, many of the guests were beginning to whisper about the unnaturalness of them.
“Now watch this, my dear,” he said, ignoring the whispers and stepping forward to pull a ribbon from the back of each doll. “They run on a time, which starts once I pull the ribbon. You’ll all want to step away from the dance floor.” They scrambled back, and suddenly the dolls turned, bowed to the crowd, then pirouetted on one foot and leapt into the air.
Watching them dance was like watching a dream come true. They moved as smooth as silk, and as the small band Godfather Drosselmeyer had hired for the event played, you couldn’t even hear their strange whirring. The dolls would be the talk of the town that evening, and for many to come even though the town would not know their roles in what was to come.
Together they finished their dance, bending toward once another and bowing, then one bowed to Claire, and the other to Fritz, before they sank to the ground.